No ‘I Love You’s’
by KuriQuinn
Summary: Chaya ponders her relationship with Kai Hiwatari and why there is a relationship to begin with.


_**No 'I Love You's'**_

_Author_: KuriQuinn

_Title_: No 'I Love You's'

_Fandom_: Bakuten Shoot Beyblade

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Beyblade, never will and have no intention of leading a crusade to try to own them. That's too much money and too much effort. However, I do like to manipulate the characters to do my bidding because it amuses me and countless others. This is the only disclaimer you will see in this fic, so if you decide to review me saying that I didn't give credit to the real person that came up with Beyblade (Aoki Takao) I will calmly tell you to go fuck yourself. That is all.

_Rating_: PG

_Pairing_: Figure it out.

_Takes-Place_: Whenever

_Summary_: Chaya ponders her relationship with Kai Hiwatari and why there is a relationship to begin with.

* * *

With Kai, there are no 'I Love You's'.

He never says those words, for whatever reason. Maybe he thinks it will make him weak or maybe he just never realized the importance of those three words.

There are no suffocating terms or sappy nicknames like Honey, Angel, Baby, Sweetie-pie or Kitten. He doesn't think he should call me by any other name than my own and although sometimes I wish for a little bit of normalcy in our relationship, I tend to treat him the same. Except for the occasional sarcastic 'Sunshine' that gets past my lips before I can stop it, but that's not really a loving nickname as much as it's a scathing reminder of some of the names I used to call him not so lovingly.

With Kai there are no candle-lit dinners at fancy Italian restaurants with the bands playing soft music and our eyes meeting over candles and spaghetti. He doesn't like spaghetti and I don't like the music.

There are no subtle holding hands in public to show off that we're together, unless one of us absently reaches for the other, and then one of us always pulls away again before anyone else notices. He says he doesn't like to because then our hands get all sweaty and he finds it nauseating. Sometimes I agree, sometimes I don't. I think he just doesn't like showing affection in public, considering he doesn't even kiss me unless we're completely alone.

There are no romantic picnics on the spread out table-cloth with the red 1978 Mercedes 450 SL convertible in the background as we feed each other strawberries and mull over how perfect the other person, generally because Kai finds it uncomfortable and stupid, and I'm allergic to every pollinated plant out there. There's no sickening 'I love you – I love you more' talk or long walks on the beach, more often than not because before we even start on the beach I'm pushing him into the water and he's yelling at me for getting sand and salt-water into the unmentionable places of his person. I like to laugh at this and that makes him even more annoyed and he goes off to sulk, which ruins the point of the entire thing.

With Kai there are no flowers or chocolates on my birthday or Valentine's day, not even a card because he thinks they're all just a ploy for the card companies to make us spend money, and that giving someone plants that will die within a few days is not a real gift and that I buy enough chocolate every day, what difference does it make if he gets me more?

There are none of those embarrassing dinners with our families because quite plainly, Kai hates his grandfather and my parents are always too busy to see me. So we end up eating out with each other as usual in some random restaurant. He doesn't hold doors open for me and never offers to pay for dinner or buy me a coffee. He doesn't offer to drive me to work in the morning or ask me how my day went.

There are no long, drawn-out love-making sessions on a bed of silk and roses with a dish of chocolate, wine and other aphrodisiacs standing by the side. There's no breakfast in bed waiting for me the morning after or whispered promises and words of love in my ear. There are no tussles in the leaves that we rake or fumbles in the snow in winter that you see a lot of couple getting into lately.

In fact, with Kai, you can never really understand what keeps me with him. I'm not spoiled and he's not whipped, and there's no brilliant sexcapades to speak off. He doesn't show me off to his friends like a trophy or try to buy me with jewelry even though he probably could, and I don't mind that one bit. He doesn't try to please my every whim and I don't try to glean money off of him mostly because I really can't picture myself doing that.

I watch the way some of my friends act around their boyfriends and wonder what's wrong with them, even though their significant other's seem fine with showing off how much they can provide their partner's with.

So what's wrong with me and Kai? What is the point of our relationship?

Well, I don't know what the point is.

All I know is that you can be in love without the sap and you can be in love without the crap. And as lame as that sounds, it's true.

And I'm happy.

I don't need to be treated like the poster girlfriend and I don't need Kai to be the fifties-good-boy or eighties-bad-guy. I love him the way he is.

Even if he doesn't call me Darling or Toots or Dove (and I'd be slightly scared if he did) he still manages to let me know he loves me, whether it's in the way the corner of his mouth tips up ever so slightly or the way his fingers brush any part of me when he walks by.

Even if he doesn't go all out to be romantic by bringing me to fancy restaurants or setting up the bedroom with mood music and roses, he still manages to keep me hooked the way he always knows exactly what my mood is and can react accordingly whether I'm in a perfectly bubbly mood and ready for some action or if I'm tense and angry and in need of comfort.

He puts up with my formula-one-wannabe-driving and my attempts at playing guitar and failing miserably. And he puts up with my temper which has been exercised against him on more than one occasion. Unlike in a lot of relationships I know of we don't argue just to make up again. We argue because there are just some things that we need to work out. It's a normal part of every relationship. If we end up sprawled on the bed hours later, though, I'm not one to complain.

When I have one of my rare breakdowns where being the cheerful, happy friend of everyone just pushes me too far, he's the one I tell – or should I say scream and cry at. And he takes it all without a comment or fight, holding me when I've finally spent all of my energy and putting me to bed to sleep it all off, more often than not just lying there with me and not letting me go.

With Kai every look or shift or grunt means something, and although I have yet to discern all of them, I'm in no way bored. I actually look forward to discovering every new way he decides to communicate every day. It's a hobby. And it makes me happy.

We're not perfect, but you know what?

Who the hell cares?

Perfection is in the eyes of the beholder, and when the beholder is me, all I have to say is that Kai is what makes me perfect. And a large part of me knows that deep down, I'm what makes him perfect.

Sappy, right?

Well…yeah.

With Kai there are no 'I love you's'.

But then there's that rare, whispered _ai shiteru_ on his lips when he thinks I don't hear him as we're both drifting to sleep.

* * *

I was in the mood for a one-shot

Deal with it

Kuriness


End file.
